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Nov. 24th, 2009

Feeling a sense of total lost!!

Time have been going at such a fast pace that I'm lost with what I'm really doing in America. Initially my goal in America was to study hard and use this time for God to mold me and nurture me, however, everything when I look back at that it seems like a really far away goal.

In just less than 7days time, i'm suppose to submit my application form to the university in California, but I don't know what is wrong with me... I have been refusing to do anything about it. On one hand, I'm really afraid that I would not be able to get into any university and i'm stuck at where I am, but on the other hand, I just don't have the determination and mood to start at all... HOW!!

I just feel that this quarter is kind of screwed up for me.. I did not do well for most of my classes(i guess) and also I have not even started applying for any uni... ARGH!!! Worst of all, I haven been doing my quite time with God, and i'm feeling really frustrated about all these!!!

Haiz.. I'm going to start making some changes to my current lifestyle... I don't want to depend on my own strength anymore.. I wanna let God take control!!

Sep. 28th, 2009

Back in America.. after summer holi

It's been a really long time since I last blog...

hmmm... what should I start updating about myself?? I think things have been pretty okie throughout this week that I'm in America... nothing really exciting or interesting happen. But, I do have super lots of assignments to be submitted tomorrow, and I've not even started with a single bit. STRESS!!

oohhhh.. and I realize something new about myself, I am afraid of being fully committed to anyone and anything; it feels like if I do so, I would lose focus on the things that I really want to accomplish or become someone that I don't hope to be. I think it's the feeling of committing whole heartedly, and when I have accomplish my task, I would not know what's my next step, or what is lying ahead of me. Forget it I don't know how to put it into words...

Anyway I gtg and prepare for church now: ) Update soon...

P.S: went to the gym just now... feeling super refreshed: ) wohooo...!

Go for a run when you are feeling all stressed up!

*Guilt is a burden God never intended His children to bear.* (something quoted from Our Daily Bread!!)

Jun. 29th, 2009

Reflecting back on the Spring Quarter: )

Spring quarter have finally come to an end, and summer school is starting in a few hours time. I kind of know I will hate summer school, cause I will be taking Calculus 1A, and I am so not good in math; however, I'm so not going to let my preference take control of what I want and aim for in life! I am so going to be working hard for math... NO MATTER HOW TOUGH AND HOW MUCH I HATE IT!!!

Anyway reflecting back on what had happen throughout the whole spring quarter have been the worst experience I ever have of school life ba. I really hate the feeling of from the start of quarter... 1st the breakup, then having to move house, followed by losing friends, next problems with my studies, and then church stuff... I really don't know man.. but last quarter was a piece of crap for me. Somehow I feel that after all these, I am starting to see and face the real world. Life is not always smooth sailing, and don't always expect people to be around me all the time. I have to learn to be independent and start being who I really am again, and not live each day to please people.

Something I learn today from church and people around me is I really want to exceed my limit and try to do things that I have never thought I'm able to do. Now, I determine to be single and do whatever God have plan for me, and wants me to learn as a single person. I'm not for any relationship... I treat everyone equal just as friends: )

Building friendship and walk with God's time!!

Cheers to singlehood and to my new learning journey this summer!!!

+ Love the Lord Your God with All Your Heart, Soul, and Mind!

May. 27th, 2009

Some Random Pictures: )


haha... look at Vicky: )



Luke the drummer: )



Angela the quiet shopper.. whahaha!!



Indescribable.. don't have any idea what words should i use to describe him??? hehe:P
(let me try... nice AT TIMES!!! n evil always... n hmmmm... forget it.. i shall try harder the next time i post another of his picture here: ))

~ The more you love Jesus, the more you’ll talk about Him. ~

May. 17th, 2009

NeW StArT NeW BeGiNnInG!!

Just moved into my new apartment yesterday. I finally realize why everyone doesn't like to move; it is a super tiring job. Thank God moving is done, and I'm just left with the packing and arranging part at home... even though it will take quite a while: ) Things haven been good for me the past month, but i hope this move and all obstacles I face will turn all for the better, and allow me to have a fresh and new start! I'm so tired of all the problems I have been facing. Lord I'm really tired... I don't think I can take or stand anymore of such challenges and trails anymore. I have to start working really hard, and not allow all the obstacles that I face obstruct me from moving forward, for the better! Jia you Jia you Jia you!!! I can do it!!!

*To those who are concerned with happiness now, this is indeed foolishness (1 Corinthians 2:6-14). They do not recognize the power of God in what appears to them as weakness.

Prayer:
- Pray for a miracle that my grades will be spared from my mistakes

^@^ Will share more in the next entry: ) Mean while Rejoice in the Lord for His Grace + Goodness!!

May. 13th, 2009

Eating Brownie Cheers Me Up : ) !!!

Today wasn't the best day for me... manage to make friends with some really nice people from De Anza College, however, It was a really tiring and depressing day today. I had English mid-term, and Calculus Quiz today. I am doing really bad in math... in fact I suck at it. I really don't know how!!! I'm going 2 be talking 2 my professor tomorrow about the options I have, and I would like to take... there would be a high chance that I will drop this class for this quarter... but i really just don't like the feeling of giving up things half way. (How I wish my brain just registers and understand math... : ( ) Haiz... but when I got home after the long day of class (from 9.30am to 8.30pm), I finally got something to eat that makes me happy: ) I HAVE BROWNIE FOR DESSERT!!! SUPER HAPPY!!! Even though it doesn't taste as good as if i was to be given it on a good day, but still it's brownie... I can never reject sweet and nice brownies and cakes: ) Cheers to brownie:)

Anyway I have a prayer request:
I will be talking to my professor tomorrow.. whichever decision I make after the chat... I pray that it will be the right decision. May God bless me with wisdom to speak with my Professor.

I rejoice, not that you were made sorry, but that your sorrow led to repentance. For you were made sorry in a godly manner. —2 Corinthians 7:9

OmG this verse is totally what is happening to me today... GOSH!!! God is a real and living GOD!!! Amen!

P.S.: If you have any prayer request don't hesitate to tell me by leaving a comment or on facebook or e-mail me: )

God Bless


Pictures of me with my Brownie: )




May. 6th, 2009

WAHAHAHAHA!!! My Blog Seems Quite Popular: )

haha... It feels good to be blogging again.. I realize through this blog, I am able to share my thoughts honestly, which gets me alot of good(as in encouraging) and bad(as in the person mention would be unhappy) comments. Thank you for all your comments: ) Anyway I just wanna update you guys that I will be moving out of my current apartment into another place next week... just found it... praise God: ) I will be staying with a friend and two other roommates(whom I dodn't know, but seems really nice:))

Even though things haven been the best for me so far, cause I lagging at the back for school work, sleeping really late, having to move, relationships and all... but I'm sure God will lead me through this period of time: ) I just want to pick up my walk with God once again. I believe just like what Charlton commented on my facebook, that I will be somehow different after this period(BUT CHARLTON I'M NOT A PAMPERED PRINCESS!!!), and someone else said that "God will not put obstacles in my life that I cannot handle, but he uses all these obstacles to mold me into someone different and better". I trust and believe that things will get better and better!

Anyway I happen to see a comment from him, which affects me, and I don't want to be affected by him anymore... so please do help me pray about that!

okie.. need to rush for class already.. will write in soon. ooohhh.. anyway the next entry i guess will be about my fellowship group.. SEED! Loook forward.......

P.S.: Pls pls leave your name after you comment... or I will never know who you are: )
P.S.: Uncle Wah Zai thanks for your encoouragement yesterday: ) yoou must jia you too!!!

till then...

~ God’s timing is always perfect

If you’re waiting for answered prayer or the fulfillment of one of His promises, don’t give up. If you think He has forgotten you, think again. When the fullness of time is right for you, He’ll show up—and you’ll be amazed by His brilliant timing! God is always on time!

Taken from Our Daily Bread ~

May. 5th, 2009

Studying Abroad Can Be Really EXHAUSTING!!!

Updating again after so long. Sorry... have been really cropped up with many things....
I think as most of u know... I have broken up with my ex-boyfriend for close 2 a month. The reason why we broke up I guess(no i mean I'm sure), is because we are just too similar in character, however, our goals in life are just totally different. I seek to know more about God and to befriend people, but we can't seem to agree on that. Furthermore, we are at a different stage in our spiritual walk with God. He is not yet a christian, and things are just tough when we aren't able to see things eye to eye. Things haven been easy for the both of us for the past few months, but I believe this is the best path for the both of us. I believe it was a mistake from the beginning... disobeying God's words was wrong.. but I choose not to listen and fill my emptiness with the wrong kind of love and security. I didn't start this relationship out of love, in fact I didn't really like him initially, it was out of weakness and hope (hoping that someone would be there, when I need company). I learnt my lesson, and it was a tough journey. However, things are getting better now... DON'T CHOOSE TO WALK THE SAME PATH AS ME: )

Anyway I'm moving house this month... do help me pray for good roommates and housing. (Moving or finding a house is tough)

P.S.: If you want to know more... comment here or facebook me... (I'm open about it)

~If you want others to know what Christ will do for them, tell them what He has done for you.~

Feb. 28th, 2009

A TEST!

I really want to trust the person I know you to be, but at times things just don't work out that way. I don't know I should believe or not. I hope to know the truth, what is at the back of your mind, what are you feeling. But somehow no matter how hard I tried, I just feel there is still some emptiness. I am going to try with a test to see if there is truthfulness between. Hope the one I believe and love is the right one.

Trust requires a step of faith.

Feb. 25th, 2009

Overly burden day!!!

Today was a day of realization. I went through a lot, cried, but decide on praying, and leaving all to God. I think time really flies, next week is going to be the last mid-term for this quarter and then followed by finals. This quarter just feels really unrealistic to me. Everyday felt like a dream. After all that happen today, I decide to stop thinking what the future lies for me, but take a step of faith each day towards the path that God have for me. Anyway as most know, I'm currently in a relationship with a really nice and handsome guy: ) I just hope that in this relationship, we would both not be a burden to one another, but a partner that would really be able to help one another to walk this tough path towards the place that God has placed us in. I hope that both our walk with God would be a firm and steady one.

I commit that from today on, I would do AT LEAST 4 TIMES of devotion each week. My goal for now would be to learn to trust in God and ...

God Bless!!!

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