What? What? What???

Time have been going at such a fast pace that I'm lost with what I'm really doing in America. Initially my goal in America was to study hard and use this time for God to mold me and nurture me, however, everything when I look back at that it seems like a really far away goal.

In just less than 7days time, i'm suppose to submit my application form to the university in California, but I don't know what is wrong with me... I have been refusing to do anything about it. On one hand, I'm really afraid that I would not be able to get into any university and i'm stuck at where I am, but on the other hand, I just don't have the determination and mood to start at all... HOW!!

I just feel that this quarter is kind of screwed up for me.. I did not do well for most of my classes(i guess) and also I have not even started applying for any uni... ARGH!!! Worst of all, I haven been doing my quite time with God, and i'm feeling really frustrated about all these!!!

Haiz.. I'm going to start making some changes to my current lifestyle... I don't want to depend on my own strength anymore.. I wanna let God take control!!

It's been a really long time since I last blog...

hmmm... what should I start updating about myself?? I think things have been pretty okie throughout this week that I'm in America... nothing really exciting or interesting happen. But, I do have super lots of assignments to be submitted tomorrow, and I've not even started with a single bit. STRESS!!

oohhhh.. and I realize something new about myself, I am afraid of being fully committed to anyone and anything; it feels like if I do so, I would lose focus on the things that I really want to accomplish or become someone that I don't hope to be. I think it's the feeling of committing whole heartedly, and when I have accomplish my task, I would not know what's my next step, or what is lying ahead of me. Forget it I don't know how to put it into words...

Anyway I gtg and prepare for church now: ) Update soon...

P.S: went to the gym just now... feeling super refreshed: ) wohooo...!

Go for a run when you are feeling all stressed up!

*Guilt is a burden God never intended His children to bear.* (something quoted from Our Daily Bread!!)

Spring quarter have finally come to an end, and summer school is starting in a few hours time. I kind of know I will hate summer school, cause I will be taking Calculus 1A, and I am so not good in math; however, I'm so not going to let my preference take control of what I want and aim for in life! I am so going to be working hard for math... NO MATTER HOW TOUGH AND HOW MUCH I HATE IT!!!

Anyway reflecting back on what had happen throughout the whole spring quarter have been the worst experience I ever have of school life ba. I really hate the feeling of from the start of quarter... 1st the breakup, then having to move house, followed by losing friends, next problems with my studies, and then church stuff... I really don't know man.. but last quarter was a piece of crap for me. Somehow I feel that after all these, I am starting to see and face the real world. Life is not always smooth sailing, and don't always expect people to be around me all the time. I have to learn to be independent and start being who I really am again, and not live each day to please people.

Something I learn today from church and people around me is I really want to exceed my limit and try to do things that I have never thought I'm able to do. Now, I determine to be single and do whatever God have plan for me, and wants me to learn as a single person. I'm not for any relationship... I treat everyone equal just as friends: )

Building friendship and walk with God's time!!

Cheers to singlehood and to my new learning journey this summer!!!

+ Love the Lord Your God with All Your Heart, Soul, and Mind!

haha... look at Vicky: )



Luke the drummer: )



Angela the quiet shopper.. whahaha!!



Indescribable.. don't have any idea what words should i use to describe him??? hehe:P
(let me try... nice AT TIMES!!! n evil always... n hmmmm... forget it.. i shall try harder the next time i post another of his picture here: ))

~ The more you love Jesus, the more you’ll talk about Him. ~

Just moved into my new apartment yesterday. I finally realize why everyone doesn't like to move; it is a super tiring job. Thank God moving is done, and I'm just left with the packing and arranging part at home... even though it will take quite a while: ) Things haven been good for me the past month, but i hope this move and all obstacles I face will turn all for the better, and allow me to have a fresh and new start! I'm so tired of all the problems I have been facing. Lord I'm really tired... I don't think I can take or stand anymore of such challenges and trails anymore. I have to start working really hard, and not allow all the obstacles that I face obstruct me from moving forward, for the better! Jia you Jia you Jia you!!! I can do it!!!

*To those who are concerned with happiness now, this is indeed foolishness (1 Corinthians 2:6-14). They do not recognize the power of God in what appears to them as weakness.

Prayer:
- Pray for a miracle that my grades will be spared from my mistakes

^@^ Will share more in the next entry: ) Mean while Rejoice in the Lord for His Grace + Goodness!!

Today wasn't the best day for me... manage to make friends with some really nice people from De Anza College, however, It was a really tiring and depressing day today. I had English mid-term, and Calculus Quiz today. I am doing really bad in math... in fact I suck at it. I really don't know how!!! I'm going 2 be talking 2 my professor tomorrow about the options I have, and I would like to take... there would be a high chance that I will drop this class for this quarter... but i really just don't like the feeling of giving up things half way. (How I wish my brain just registers and understand math... : ( ) Haiz... but when I got home after the long day of class (from 9.30am to 8.30pm), I finally got something to eat that makes me happy: ) I HAVE BROWNIE FOR DESSERT!!! SUPER HAPPY!!! Even though it doesn't taste as good as if i was to be given it on a good day, but still it's brownie... I can never reject sweet and nice brownies and cakes: ) Cheers to brownie:)

Anyway I have a prayer request:
I will be talking to my professor tomorrow.. whichever decision I make after the chat... I pray that it will be the right decision. May God bless me with wisdom to speak with my Professor.

I rejoice, not that you were made sorry, but that your sorrow led to repentance. For you were made sorry in a godly manner. —2 Corinthians 7:9

OmG this verse is totally what is happening to me today... GOSH!!! God is a real and living GOD!!! Amen!

P.S.: If you have any prayer request don't hesitate to tell me by leaving a comment or on facebook or e-mail me: )

God Bless


Pictures of me with my Brownie: )

haha... It feels good to be blogging again.. I realize through this blog, I am able to share my thoughts honestly, which gets me alot of good(as in encouraging) and bad(as in the person mention would be unhappy) comments. Thank you for all your comments: ) Anyway I just wanna update you guys that I will be moving out of my current apartment into another place next week... just found it... praise God: ) I will be staying with a friend and two other roommates(whom I dodn't know, but seems really nice:))

Even though things haven been the best for me so far, cause I lagging at the back for school work, sleeping really late, having to move, relationships and all... but I'm sure God will lead me through this period of time: ) I just want to pick up my walk with God once again. I believe just like what Charlton commented on my facebook, that I will be somehow different after this period(BUT CHARLTON I'M NOT A PAMPERED PRINCESS!!!), and someone else said that "God will not put obstacles in my life that I cannot handle, but he uses all these obstacles to mold me into someone different and better". I trust and believe that things will get better and better!

Anyway I happen to see a comment from him, which affects me, and I don't want to be affected by him anymore... so please do help me pray about that!

okie.. need to rush for class already.. will write in soon. ooohhh.. anyway the next entry i guess will be about my fellowship group.. SEED! Loook forward.......

P.S.: Pls pls leave your name after you comment... or I will never know who you are: )
P.S.: Uncle Wah Zai thanks for your encoouragement yesterday: ) yoou must jia you too!!!

till then...

~ God’s timing is always perfect

If you’re waiting for answered prayer or the fulfillment of one of His promises, don’t give up. If you think He has forgotten you, think again. When the fullness of time is right for you, He’ll show up—and you’ll be amazed by His brilliant timing! God is always on time!

Taken from Our Daily Bread ~

Updating again after so long. Sorry... have been really cropped up with many things....
I think as most of u know... I have broken up with my ex-boyfriend for close 2 a month. The reason why we broke up I guess(no i mean I'm sure), is because we are just too similar in character, however, our goals in life are just totally different. I seek to know more about God and to befriend people, but we can't seem to agree on that. Furthermore, we are at a different stage in our spiritual walk with God. He is not yet a christian, and things are just tough when we aren't able to see things eye to eye. Things haven been easy for the both of us for the past few months, but I believe this is the best path for the both of us. I believe it was a mistake from the beginning... disobeying God's words was wrong.. but I choose not to listen and fill my emptiness with the wrong kind of love and security. I didn't start this relationship out of love, in fact I didn't really like him initially, it was out of weakness and hope (hoping that someone would be there, when I need company). I learnt my lesson, and it was a tough journey. However, things are getting better now... DON'T CHOOSE TO WALK THE SAME PATH AS ME: )

Anyway I'm moving house this month... do help me pray for good roommates and housing. (Moving or finding a house is tough)

P.S.: If you want to know more... comment here or facebook me... (I'm open about it)

~If you want others to know what Christ will do for them, tell them what He has done for you.~

I really want to trust the person I know you to be, but at times things just don't work out that way. I don't know I should believe or not. I hope to know the truth, what is at the back of your mind, what are you feeling. But somehow no matter how hard I tried, I just feel there is still some emptiness. I am going to try with a test to see if there is truthfulness between. Hope the one I believe and love is the right one.

Trust requires a step of faith.

Today was a day of realization. I went through a lot, cried, but decide on praying, and leaving all to God. I think time really flies, next week is going to be the last mid-term for this quarter and then followed by finals. This quarter just feels really unrealistic to me. Everyday felt like a dream. After all that happen today, I decide to stop thinking what the future lies for me, but take a step of faith each day towards the path that God have for me. Anyway as most know, I'm currently in a relationship with a really nice and handsome guy: ) I just hope that in this relationship, we would both not be a burden to one another, but a partner that would really be able to help one another to walk this tough path towards the place that God has placed us in. I hope that both our walk with God would be a firm and steady one.

I commit that from today on, I would do AT LEAST 4 TIMES of devotion each week. My goal for now would be to learn to trust in God and ...

God Bless!!!

hehe... everyone I'm really sorry that I haven been writing here. A lot of things have happen in my life these few months.. and somehow I know things will never be the same again. I just finish all my mid-terms and essay writing, and I have a few days of break before next Monday.. though I have one more class to go later on (Macroeconomics).

I went down by plane to San Diego last week for a short holiday with Ah Chun, Step, and Henry: ) It was really fun when i think back other then the part that we were all really exhausted, cause we had two mid-terms each the day before the trip. On the first day of our arrival at Orange County, we went for breakfast and then immediately to Disneyland, where we spend the whole of our day there.!! I think the two best things about the whole trip was that I was too tired and when I was asked to play all the roller-coaster(which I don't usually dare to), I agreed to all and I guess I ride on almost 7 or 8 rides ba. The other thing that was really good was the fireworks, which took place at 9pm. Although it was really cold, cause of the rain that poured the whole day, but I really think having seen the fireworks was worth all the cold and all. In the night after everything, we stayed in a hotel.. it was so super good!!! 2 queen size bed... gosh!!!... it's something like a king man! I LOVE IT!!! hehe: ) but i kinda quarrel with chun quite badly... so u know:)

Anyway the next two days that we stayed there was more of shopping and all. Just that the morning in the hotel, Chun gave me a surprise, by calling me down to the lobby and surprising me with 24 flower and 5 balloons. I really love it. ooohhh... anyway it's Valentine that's why:)

okie anyway update more next time.. have 2 go for class soon.

p.s.: anyway peeps do help me pray about my walk with God... haven been really active me doing God's work or even reading his words. HELP PRAY!!!

love all!

haha...
my finals r finally OVER!!! but gosh.. for both my finals, i did really bad! how? just hope by god's grace i'll score what i hope for. I really feel that after today, i'll never study the night before anymore. I was so tired that my brain was so not functioning. Hate it. Gosh! I really just hope for the best that everything will turn out well. BY GOD'S GRACE: )

Anyway I'm going back Singapore in 5 days time (as in leaving the States:) great! so much to share! I'm hoping for a lot of fun stuff back then: ) PLan PLan PLAN ORH!!! Loves! I MISS U ALL!!!

Wahahaha!! Something I have been looking forward to for a really super long time; ) From today on, I'm going to be having 4 days straight of holiday! wohoo...: ) Gosh.. I will be going to Gilroy for Black Friday for some good shopping. Going to queue there with some friends from school: ) Then tomorrow will be going for RiceBowl, a football day from church, and after that will be going to San Fran for some good shopping and staying over there a night with about 10 other friends; )

Haiz.. please remind me not to play too much and start studying!!! FINALS STARTS NEXT WEEK!! GOSH!!!...

But the good thing is I'm going back to Singapore in like 2.5 weeks time; )

WAHHAHAHAHAHAHA.....

Don't know what wrong!.. but i'm suddenly feeling really empty and lost. Don't know what do i want to do for my future and also feeling a sense of loneliness. I think it might be because I haven been doing my quiet time and also cause i kinda miss home now. Now i know what everyone is referring to when they say they miss home. hehe ; )

p.s: just lost my bible... still looking for it!

It's so weird.. I think as I grow older each day, I feel that instead of understanding what people are really like, I feel like I'm moving future away from understand.
I think after coming to America, it made me realize more.

- slept for only 2.5hrs cause had business midterm. -

I'm really confuse with what major I really want and what God wants me to do. I know I shouldn't be guessing what he wants me to do... but yea... it's always a comfort to know when what u want to do might be what God wants u 2 do too. Haiz... it's the time again to be thinking about what classes I want to take next quarter. BUT I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I WANT TO DO!!!

HOW HOW HOW!!!

I really want to thank God and praise him that things have really been quite smooth for me so far. Praying really hard about what I want to do.

Should I take Bio/Chem, Business, or Linguistic???

Do keep me in prayers about it; )

~my quiet time with God have been quite dry and haven been spending much time with him~

Having a really relax and fun weekend... but there's going to class again tomorrow at 8.30am... time to work hard again; ) Haiz.. need to take two placement tests tomorrow... worried about that: )

Anyway my dear friends in Singapore who have been checking on this blog, i'm so so so so sorry that I only start blogging again now*@* ~I haven forget you guys: )~

Anyway anyway i'm really HAPPY!!! I went for SOP(Stream of Praise) yesterday with some friends;) Can't believe i went for that in America... it's really a great time 2 recharge myself and really pray there with everyone else. I bought 2 lastest albums... so if u guys wannna can just borrow from me!

okieokie.... just 2 reconfirm with everyone who is asking me if i would be going back to Singapore in Dec, I WOULD!!! I'm excited.. will reach Sin on the 15th of Dec 1am(weird timing yea?!)

... gtg le... i will blog with pictures the next time: ) will show u all some of my seed fellowship's pictures(the people who doesn't like taking pictures and keep telling me to just take it from facebook..so not fun: ) and also will show u people some of the friends that I hang out with here!

LOVE N MISS U PEOPLE... continue to seek for God and cast your burdens on him xD

*tired.. haven been sleeping alot... 5hrs a day*

Hey my dear friends and family back in Singapore who is reading: ) I'm really sorry for always taking so long to blog here. But i just want to update you people, today i just passed my driving test here in America. I'm so happy that i passed: )

Anyway the pass few days i have been really stressed up with my Microeconomics test. I had a test yesterday. I felt that it was really tough for me, as most people who took that class have already had a background of it and when the professor went really fast to explain the basic concept and even skip some, i had alot of problem catching up and building a firm foundation. I almost cried on wednesday before the test day as i was so stressed up and thought how can i be so stupid not being able to understand the concepts in the book(cause i did self study). But i think after thinking more, praying, and confirm my ideas with some friends, i FINALLY UNDERSTAND: )!!! happy me! And guess what in God's grace i think i might be able to get a 95% grade.... yeppeeee!!! It's really by his grace.

I think God have been really living so real and comforting in my life here. I don't know but i think alot of times when i start thinking all the low and tough times that i went through this 2 weeks, i saw that he have always helped me and hold my hands throughout the journey.

Yesterday i was super not feeling well, and i fell asleep while reading for my test today, but guess what i forgot to SET MY ALARM CLOCK!!!.. but by his grace, he woke me up at 7am which is the time i always wake up for school... GOSH ISN"T GOD AMAZING??!!!hehe :)

Lastly share with u people something funny, i was so dumb okie... i was trying to call my mum on the house phone, and i just couldn't get use to the new phone my host was using, and while dialing the number, i accidently press the police button. I just put it down immediately hoping nothing will happen. But GUESS WHAT!!!! 10minutes later the police came knocking the door, and i was of course shock. I opened the door and say "yes", and they say we are police, and i said yes... we repeated the same process 4 a few times, cause i was thinking yea u came here for and he was thinking why did i call for. In the end we kind of settled it with just we accidently dialing wrongly, but because of my mistake, they had to stay outside my house to make a 30mins report! whahahahahahah... so stupid!!! oppps....

That's about it: ) time to study again! I'll try my best to update soon: ) Take care. Love you all

OMG OMG!!!! Whoa.. time really flies when i'm studying in America man... It seems like i've not been here for a long time (when i am always having fun and doing shopping), but gosh can't believe tmr it's the big day man!! I have to really start studying already! It's like school starts for me tmr.. Time really flies, i have already been here for over a month, everyday doing nothing and just have to make new friends, go to fellowship group, church, and do some shopping or play some sports.

But guess what!!! All this is coming to an end from today on man... will have to start working really hard and have to score really well, or i will not be able to enter into my dream college (aka university) man. Jia you jia you jia you!!! I really need motivation man.

Anyway i have some prayer request here...

(1) When i go for class tmr that i wouldn't be late for it. (Determination to do well)
(2) That i would have good classmate and lecturer.
(3) Be able to find really good friends to form a study group to help me focus in studying and discuss the problems we face.
(4) Find to right church with friends that are caring and helpful.
(5) Even though classes might be tough, that i can always look to God to help me with all the challenges i face and have faith that he would give me the strength to do well.
(6) Lastly, having the wisdom from God to choose the right major, not just solely of my interest, but also of what God plans are and what he wants me to serve and do in the future.

Thank you guys and girls for reading this blog! I'm really encourage to see the comments you people leave. May you continue to walk closely with the Lord and bring more people into HIS Kingdom.

*Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.
-Matthew 7:33- (NLT)

Amen!

I'm so sorry! I forgot to update about myself if i did pass the test!: ) Anyway yea i did past my theory test that day and i will be having my one and only driving lesson tmr to be familiar with the rules on the roads here:) Thanks for everyone who did pray for me about it and also for the words of encouragement.

I think the most important person who views this blog is Cheryl, i mean everyone is really important, but i can really see that you have been around to support me and i'm really thankful, cause whenever i just hope someone would be around to encourage and see me through, i would be able to see the comments that you leave:) thank you!!!

Also i wanna just say I'll be GOING BACK TO SINGAPORE ON DECEMBER the 15th(reaching), taking SQ15, will be arriving in Singapore at 1am. So don't worry... don't have to pick me up... it's too late!! I'm so happy i'll be seeing you people soon:) And also i'll be leaving Singapore on the 2nd of Jan (expensive 2 plus weeks man!!)

Just want to encourage everyone whose reading this blog, especially those who are going through hard times or times that we as humans and friends can't walk through with you... but my prayer would be for you to continue to seek the Lord in all times, whether happy or sad. It's hard when we are having great and fun times, but don't just seek the Lord when you are feeling trouble as he is your heavenly father, he will never leave nor forsake you, and also he knows what you are going through, he is waiting for the best time to show himself to you..

EVERYONE IS A PRECIOUS JEM IN OUR HEAVENLY FATHER'S EYE: )

May the Lord be the light and warmth in your life to brighten the dark and cold side of you*@*

*Rainbow Pig jia you!!!